Just tryin' to keep my head above water...

I am forcing myself to sit down and write for a few minutes even though every fiber in my body is saying "No...don't make me focus or think...I am just too damn beat down for anything like that!" Yes, this week has done a number on me. It was a week I was much anticipating for almost two months now. "Why?" you might ask... Well my wonderful husband Jeff has been in trial away from home for the past 7 weeks. (Well he was away 4 out of 7 days a week and when he was home he was working insanely intense hours to prepare for trial.) That basically left me a makeshift single mom of infant twins for the past two months. Single parenthood though so very noble in my book is not something I have every aspired to nor is it something I recommend if it can at all be avoided - especially with twin babies to boot!

What kept me hanging on to my very thin shredded tip of rope these past 60 days was the glorious thought of the week-long vacation that Jeff was going to take as soon as the trial was over. In my mind I played out many a scenario of leisure, reconnection, and warm family memories that we would make during this extended period away from his work. However, I am sad to say all my grandiose daydreams have turned out to be frustrating delusions. Within 24 hours of receiving Jeff's verdict, he came down with a pretty nasty cold. I could have...no, should have predicted this. (As a former school teacher I could almost set my watch by the illnesses that would land on my doorstep within hours of me going on break from school...like clockwork!) So why should Jeff be any different? He had been pushing himself to the limit mentally willing his immune system to stand at attention until the trial was over. And as soon as it was...WHAMMO...sick as a dog! Now that would have been enough to rattle my carefully crafted mental vacation hopes, but no this was only the beginning. After 3 days of house arrest nursing my poor hubby back to health, both girls quickly took his place in the Cruddy Cold and Cough Club. Within hours of Jeff's recovery, both girls developed low-grade fevers and runny noses like leaky faucets. This coupled with teething, multiple night wakings, fussy daytime dispositions and inconsolable crying fits followed by choking on phlegm so as to prompt projectile vomiting all made for some pretty hellish last few days and NIGHTS!

I guess we should consider ourselves lucky, we have been fortunate to have a few great months where the girls were sleeping through the night and waking up cheerful and happy...yes I know we were spoiled. But in the past few weeks - the last being the worst - all our achievements in creating successful sleep patterns have all gone right out the window. In my mind, I realize that this too shall pass - (it sure as hell better) - but right now I am sleep deprived, run ragged, beat down, raked across the coals, gone to hell in a hand basket, sinking in quicksand...and fast. I feel like I am in a giant slippery hole, desperately fighting to dig myself out in order to get back to some semblance of the comfortable routine I had established before Jeff's trial began. Right now I just can't seem to get there. I am left feeling exasperated and defeated. I guess I just had so many expectations built up for this week because the previous seven have been so grueling...this was supposed to be my reward for good behavior!!! My reprieve!!! At this point I will be lucky to avoid becoming completely bedridden for the remainder of the 4th of July weekend. They say things always look better in the morning. For all of our sakes I sure hope that is true!

I call this shot the Perfectly Precious Pink Padres Pair

Tidbits

Okay...can someone please clue me in to the mystical allure of the Costco wipes package? My girls will roll/crawl over any obstacle in their path to get their grubby little mits on this Holy Grail of non-childproofed items. Of course the Balmex and baby lotion also prove to be very attractive lures, but it is the hypnotic blue crinkly package with the flip-top lid that has become the forbidden fruit for my little ones. The desire in their eyes each time it is within reach resembles the lust of a carb addict longingly eyeing the overwhelming binge options of the cookie aisle at Ralph's. Each time I snatch it away from them just in time, they both let out whines of stimied dismay. Can someone clue me in here?





(CONFESSIONS OF A TWIN MOM) Yes...I have a confession to make...I have gone over to the TV LAND dark side. Before I had children I was one of those people who firmly believed that TV would not cross my childrens' eyes until at least age 2 maybe even 3. Well 9 1/2 months into the raising of two very delightful yet "spirited" girls I find myself on increasing occasions to be uncontrollably lulled by the intoxicating call of the Baby Einstein and Baby Signing Time DVD's. I still have mixed feelings about breaking down on this issue, but when your in-laws give you Volumes 1 and 2 of the BE collection (that is 18 DVD's my friends.) And they are just sitting on the shelf waiting to capture your child's attention...this parent has been known to have increasingly weak moments. Behold the result of the mesmerizing properties of the "Colorful Talking Box" I console myself at night with the idea that at least they are somewhat educational.





Above is the result of the approximately one week period that Zoe has been able to stand in her crib and knaw joyfully through the paint on her crib railing. I just put the crib rail teether guard over this mess this morning. I predict it will take her less than a week to figure out how to pry the plastic guards of and fling them into her sister's crib. When does the oral phase end exactly???

Get a load of these Choppers...

In the past few weeks (for some unknown reason) approximately 7 out of 10 times Maya sees a camera quickly she juts out her lower teeth as if to say, "See these things here, these are my teeth! Cool huh?!"




Disclaimer: The the white stocking cap is used to scan her head at the helmet place when measuring her growth with the cranial molding scanner. I asked if I could keep it because it makes her look like the cutest little Q-Tip you ever did see.

You are so beautiful to me!

So it is official, Maya has her new glasses and I am surprisingly optimistic with how well she has tolerated her new facial accessory on day one. Other than the fact that despite the aspheric lenses (technology that makes them as thin as possible and equally expensive) they still are a bit thicker than this mother would choose. But through this whole ordeal, my heart was warmed yesterday when I put them on her for the first time at home. She woke up from her afternoon nap about 20 minutes before Zoe which was perfect. It allowed me a bit of one-on-one time with her to help her get used to her foreign face gear. After a five minute session of batting them away with her hands as I tried to place them gingerly on the bridge of her nose, I realized I was going to have to resort to some form of arm restraint in order to plant them somewhere in the right vicinity and manage to hook them sufficiently over each ear. Although I give her props for being an able-bodied opponent she was no match for her former seventh grade teacher mom. (If I can handle 176 hormonal preteens, I can handle the challenge of ushering my little one into her new adventure in better vision.) Although the initial lift off proved a bit rocky for both of us, once the things actually landed on her face, she perked up right away. I took this spark of fresh curiousity as a hopeful sign. I quickly determined that the hingepin to this whole transition is going to be distraction, distraction, and then after that...more distracted. So I took advantage of our rare alone time by taking her for a cruise around her more sharply focused house. As we ventured into the living room she seemed almost captivated. It was like she was viewing a whole new room that she had never seen before. She gazed at the glass block window as if it was the most facinating sparkly that she had ever laid eyes on. She continued to respond to all of the other rooms with an increasingly intense intrigue that I had not noticed before. It was at this point I thought, "Hey maybe she really can see better with these things on..." As we sauntered from room to room she seemed almost spellbound by all of the crisp and interesting things to look at. And when we passed by the full-length mirror in my bedroom, she caught a glimpse of both our faces peering back at her. She instantly busted out the most heart-melting broad-jawed, big-toothed grin...(I am tearing up just thinking about it.)

All in all, I think the house tour was a wonderful exercise for the both of us. As we rounded our last corner (and heard Zoe stirring in the background), Maya seemed to have forgottten that she had glasses propped at the end of her little button nose and Mama had begun to feel much better about this new chapter in vision enhancement. Although I know that I am still in for countless attempts at putting her glasses back on and desperately trying to teach her the meaning of "no hands on glasses", I have quickly become drawn to her adorable spectacled look. In fact, by the end of day two it seems almost strange to see her not wearing them.

Going on an eyeglass hunt...

Today I decided to move beyond my funk and plunge forward into the hunt for the most adorable pair of glasses I could kind for little Mymy. My opthomologist recommended a great place called Eyes 4 Kids that specializes in fitting children in glasses. So I took both girls to the eyglass store this morning after a good solid nap, in hopes that they would tolerate the duration of hemming and hawwing that I was sure I would create. Much to my delight, not only were the girls SUPER well behaved for almost AN HOUR (all the other customers kept commenting on how good they were being) but Maya actually let me place several pairs of frames on her without trying to take them off. I am hoping upon hope that this is a good sign of things to come. So After much deliberation and Q&A with the optician, I decided on a "oh so sweet" pair of flexible metal frames in "Dusty Rose". I wanted something subtle that would compliment her skin tone while still accenting the fact that she is indeed a girl. :) A view of them can be seen at:
http://eyeglasses.go-optic.com/enlarge.asp?id=4747&cat=DFRAMES (although the one in the picture is not the color frame that I ordered for Maya.)

I was also pleased to hear that the turn around time is surprisingly quick. I should be able to pick them up early next week...and then the real fun begins. I anticipate several weeks of trying to get her to keep them on for increasingly long periods of time. But perhaps the more significant (and frustrating) "X" factor will be her sister Zoe and her sly little ways. I predict that Zoe will be magnetically drawn to Maya's new glasses and attempt to swipe them for her own new chew toy at every possible opportunity. It is a good thing these suckers are made out of the same "memory-metals that have also been used in jet aircraft construction, NASA research, super-computer electronic connectors, and experimental medical products." Jeesh...it better be the same stuff NASA uses especially for the whopping $300 bucks I had to slap down. Although it will be worth every penny knowing that little Maya will be able to see the world around her in crystal clear focus! I feel better already about her new facial accessory. I am "almost" excited to see how she looks in them next week. I will post pictures when she gets them.

Sad about Specs

As I was feeding my girls this morning I was struck by this huge wave of adoration for them both.

However, I noted that there was a particular focus on Maya. I knew right away that this was due to the looming pediatric opthomology appointment we have tomorrow. I have been dreading this day for the last two months. It was at that time that the opth told me that Maya had inherited extreme farsightedness and would more than likely need glasses in the very near future. Although this was not a total surprise (since I had made the proactive appointment to see if the girls had the same condition as Grandpa Ken) it was still quite a blow to find out that she did in fact have this condition. The doctor told me that he would like to see her in two months to see if her prescription changed at all and at that point we would probably be putting her in glasses. (Please note how I have used "probably" and "more than likely" in reference to the final outcome. I think it is my way of holding on to the last thread of hope that her eyes will magically correct themselves by tomorrow morning so as to avoid having to deal with putting my beautiful long-lashed, espresso-eyed angel in spectacles.)

I just love her little face exactly the way it is and can't imagine her wearing little baby glasses everyday from now until she is old enough to decide if she wants to take care of contact lenses. (Sidenote: I am a bit puzzled by my reaction since I too wear glasses and have contacts at my disposal, yet have chosen to wear glasses everyday, primarily for convenience. (Granted they are frameless and barely noticeable.) But why is it okay for me in my mind but not for her?...) Perhaps it is just a glaring first piece of outward evidence that my precious babes are not perfect (although they are in my eyes) and this will be the first in a long list of imperfections and flaws that they will need to learn to cope with and embrace. As their mom, I want to protect them from anything that might cause them pain or hurt and I see her glasses as the embodiment of so many growing pains that are yet to come. Don't get me wrong, in the scope of world suffering I realize that Maya in glasses is a minor hiccup. But I guess this morning I am just feeling sad that this brief pristine world of infancy is about to evolve into something different...a journey where more and more of the outside world will be coming in to make its mark on the identities of my little ones.

Sleep Glorious Sleep...where for art thou???

As I reflect on one of my previous entries "The Art of the Nap" it is clear to me that in many ways, we Miyamotos have come a long way in our quest for restful sleep. But this week it has become painfully clear that I must prepare myself to fight another battle in the war to defend and protect a full night's sleep.

For some reason I can't really remember the specifics of the girls' previous nap transitions. They just sort of happened. First there were five or six, than four, and for the last few months three. But recently the magic number three has not been so magical. For some reason Maya and Zoe just can't seem to bring themselves to sleep past 5:00am (they used to sleep until 6:00-6;30)and have also come to the conclusion that their late afternoon nap is just so passe. There are a whole laundry list of things wrong with this picture. But to name just a few:
1.) 5:00 is just toooooo damn early...period!
2.) With a normal bedtime of 6:30-7:00pm, 14 daytime hours is simply way to long for all involved.
3.) With their previous nap schedule and them skipping their last nap they are going from 12:30-6:30 sans sleep. This is not good...
Take yesterday for example...
After six consecutive hours of wake time (Mommy did try to give them their third nap but they weren't havin' it!) the girls finally went down. But after just 45 minutes I heard a panicked shrieking coming from the nursery. Immediately I identified the forlorn little wails as Zoe's. This was unusual, because Maya is usually the one to put up a fuss at bedtime. So after several minutes of crying (with me hoping she would soothe herself back to sleep) I went in to check to be sure she did not have poopy pants. (I mean who can sleep a wink with poopy pants?) But no, she was dry, dry, dry, well fed, and burped. There was nothing wrong with this child except the fact that she was too over tired to calm herself down after waking up. Now in the world of singletons this would be enough of a challenge, but in the twin world there is always the perpetual problem of "the other baby". In this case, the question was how long could Zoe cry before waking (overtired) Maya only to have two crying babies. Note: this was the third night in a row this had happened hence creating a new and undesired pattern. I have read all the sleeping books and not a one deals in any depth with the unique sleeping challenges of multiples - other than the all incompassing, "give each their own room".

I quickly got my answer to this question as sweet peacefully sleeping Maya began to wail in unison with her sister. This is about when the pounding around my temples started and I noticed an increasingly anxious knot in my stomach. No mother likes to hear her baby cry, but it truly is doubly awful to hear two at a time! So after about 25 minutes of me trying to figure out what to do, Zoe finally managed to begin to wind down. Unfortunately Maya had begun to spin so out of control that I feared there would be no chance of coming back from this egde of insanity. With pathetic pained gasps and a mountain of snot running down her nose, I finally whisked her from her bed in hopes of being able to comfort her back to sleep. The first few moments gave me a glimmer of hope as she immediately flashed me a relieved smile. But the mucous monster had already done too much damage. A peaceful ending to this story was not to be. As I carried her into my room she began to cough. This, exacerbated by the crying fit, suddenly produced a completely unexpected wave of vomit the likes of which I had never seen. Of course I can't help but note that this all occurred on the much talked about 06/06/06...coincidence?... All I can say is that it rivaled scenes from some classic horror flicks.

Strangely as all this was culminating, I find it interesting that my first gut instinct was to use myself as a human shield in an attempt to spare my new carpet.

Earlier, Jeff had called to let me know that he was planning to make it home for the evening. It was at this moment that I heard the "click clack" of the back door and Jeff whisper an excited "Daddy's home!" I immediatly greeted him with "COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!" in an alarming whipsered hiss. As he cautiously peered around the door into the bathroom, he tried to mask a slight gasp in response to the hideous scene that stood before him. Upon exhale of a deep cleansing breath he asked, "What can I do to help?" Again I find it peculiar yet humorous that as Maya and I stood there literally soaked to the skin with the contents of her last two meals, my first response was "Grab a rag and clean the puke off the carpet...QUICK! If we act fast we might still be able to get the smell out!"

God love him!!! He went right to work and soon came back to lend another set of able hands in an effort to help clean up the fallout of the site that will forever be known as the Regurg Incident of 2006. He calmly offered to bathe my precious little puke covered child. As I lowered her into the tub, she gleefully grabbed for her beloved bath toys (And me with my barf-laden shirt and pants still sticking to my chest and thighs.

"I'll bathe her. You go take a shower." Never has the spoken word been such sweet music to my ears.

NOTE: Just a thought on unconditional love...The unconditional love for a child can be evidenced through the story above. As all the mayhem was happening around me (and on me) my only primal concern was for bringing comfort and solace to my little My Pie. Any other person on the planet would have quite a price to pay for puking their guts out all over me and more importantly ...my new carpet! ;)

Where does the time go...no...really...I'm serious!!!...

I want to thank all those of you who comment that you have been checking in on my page. I apologize for the lack of consistent entries as of late. As you might imagine life with twins (even really good twins) is a handful and a half. On top of that having the hubster immersed in a gargantuan trial (he's the attorney not the defendant:) for the last 5 weeks does not leave me much time for creative ponderings. But at least I have tried to keep up with snapping a few photos of the little boogers. Some of the highlights that we have experienced since my last entry are:
* an onslaught of teeth have arrived. To date Maya has 8 and Zoe is working on number 6
* Zoe crawls every which way like a crazy baby and has some kind of built in radar for any object that is hazardous to her health. She has been desperate to get her hands (and mouth) on the diaper wipes, diaper cream, baby lotion and her current favorite...a big wad of her sisters hair...poor Maya. :(
* We have successfully ventured into the land of the gym KIDZONE and so far the girls have stayed twice on their own and seemed to have had a lovely time. This is exciting news because now Mommy might have at least a prayer of a chance of doing something about that last ten pounds of baby weight.
* The girls will be nine months on Thursday and we may be winding down on the breastfeeding bonding. As much as I love the close snuggle time, I recently experienced my first bite (from Zoe although Maya was right behind her too) and immediately after I yanked away from her with a loud yelp, she flashed a pretty satisfied grin. So I do not think that will be the last time she tries that little experiment. So now I am in a constant state of high alert while nursing which is not nearly as appealing. So we will have to see how much longer this gig plays out...but it was great while it lasted!!!
* Oooh, I almost forgot...Maya graduated from the Cranial Molding Program with an (almost) perfectly round head...hip hip hooray...they even gave her a cerfiticate that is suitable for frameing! :) (Zoe has another month or so to go but she is catching up fast.

Below are a few key moments of the last month at the Miyamoto house.

I would love to hear from anyone else who checks in on my page...it will motivate me to post more frequently!