Okay, so my hopeful handful of readers know that the last couple months have been a bit of a roller coaster. However, I have made a mental commitment to try and focus on the positive rather than berate myself of the challenges and screw ups I find myself bobbing and weaving through on a daily basis.
Yesterday was good…my in-laws came and gave me a reprieve, providing me with three completely and totally free hours. I almost didn’t know what to do with myself! In the past, I would feel so guilty about having them come to help if I didn’t have a strict list of “necessary” errands to run. But on this day, I decided to roll down the driveway guilt-free not having told them specifically what I would be doing, only that I had several “things” to do and I would be back in a “few” hours. My great escape consisted of lounging over two fish tacos and a good book at Rubio’s, trolling the aisles of Old Navy and Ross while chatting on my cell phone to my dear “Ethel” buddy Jen. (Now I am usually one who frowns on cell phone chatting in public places. But when this caged bird is allowed to fly free on such rare occasions I now force myself to push the etiquette guilt aside and embrace my inner need to multi-task in order to squeeze out every last sacred drop of my borrowed afternoon.) Although we certainly didn’t solve any global crisis, just having another stay-at-home mom validate all the highs and lows that are constantly spinning through my head made me feel so much lighter. In fact we both joked that neither of us has the time or money for a therapist at this point but we are grateful to have each other. Props going out to my sista’ Jenny G!
As I slowly sauntered back to my car, I consoled myself that in spite of my currently pitiful mommy wardrobe of Bermuda shorts, khaki Capri’s and a rainbow of muted tanks and tee’s the racks of my local discount stores had nothing even remotely tempting to offer anyway, no matter how affordable. From there, I cranked up the Dixie Chicks new CD (love it!!!) and cruised over to the local Starbucks to indulge in my Grande (finale) sweetened Iced Coffee and read another chapter in my current book appropriately titled, Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families. This book pretty much sums up my inner conflict over the past six months. And as interesting and insightful as these diverse mother’s stories are, I have yet to read the one that offers up “THE” answer. I was really hoping that one of them might have snuck it in under the radar, but no. Each has had to work through their own inner struggle in order to find the right balance that works for her and her family. And most have had to struggle a lot longer than 10 months in order to make it happen. Unfortunately patience is not my strongest virtue. As I savored the last slurp of that caffeinated concoction, and entered back out into the humid heat of the afternoon, my shoulders felt a bit more relaxed and I noted a slight spring in my step.
Walking back into the house at the end of my three hour vacation, I could hear Maya and Zoe giggling in response to Grandma and Grandpa’s silly antics. Both heads immediately turned when they heard my voice and both flashed their adorable toothy grins in my direction. It felt really good to be back home again!

"Get this thing off of me!"

"I must grab the camera...I must have it...it must be mine!"

"Food glorious food!"

"Downward Dog Zoe"